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im 30 now have ptsd and bpd , waiting for group therapy, living alone in a one bedroom apartment on disability, i own nothing save an old computer.
endured a miserable , misfortunate life so far and are trying now to work towards my personal goals and ambitions, even at my disadvantages , with a criminal, psychiatric record , i know it will be hard , but my goals are my goals , to emigrate from britain with a decent paying computer job.
and still i hate to be felt sorry for and treated like a charity case- im telling you, i hate that.
i have some physical injuries and imperfections at the moment that are pending , unsure whether they can be fixed or not.
and its torment because im a vain perfectionist.
a crooked little finger, that droops over due to an injury years back, a splint DIDNT straighten it, it doops over – i can still use it normally, but im unhappy about how it looks , so im waiting for a 2nd opinion.
damaged nerves in my knuckle on my right hand , through punching a brick wall years ago, i can use it normally, but it hurts for example to hit a punch bag lightly , i was told NOTHING can be done with the damaged nerves – im waiting for a 2nd opinion.
cracked , fissured , torn skin covering the head of my penis, the sexual health clinic said test were clear, the dermatologist said there was NO skin disorder , but admitted the skin was cracked and fissured, they to a swab – it came back clear, the dermatologist said she didnt no what caused the cracked skin or whether it could be cleared or not, they took photos for another opinion in London, to be sent there , the dermatologist reported back and said it looked normal for me – i said i still wasnt happy and wanted a 3rd opinion , so now im waiting to see a professor.
i was told the cracked skin could be due to excessive masturbation over 12 times everyday for as long as i can remember.
there not sore, or cut or bruised or open wounds , its just the skin is simply cracked and torn.
im getting pulling pains and shooting pains recently in my pelvis to, especially if i masturbate.
i have an injured left ankle due to a bad sprain years ago when i ran accross a meadow, ive torn the ligaments, the MR scan pictures came back unclear , i was told i will need my ankle operated on – the ankle it very weak to, easily twists and i fall over.
i only have an average sized penis , just about 6 inch, and the head of my penis is NOT a big mushroom shaped like most guys ive seen pictures of.
how can i cope with these physical imperfections that may or may not be able to be fixed ?