Posts Tagged Depressed

okay so with this whole ”’economy situation” my family lost $250,000 dollars in the stock market. thats how much we are in debt. so yeah and now my mom and dad are in this HUGE fight and they havent talked to each other in months and they want to get divorced they just cant afford it. and its not about the money its about how my dad always goes to his family and talks about my mom behind her back and he tells them personal things. and yeah that is why she is mad mostly. oh and she is mad cause he only thinks and talks about money allllll day. and she is mad cause my dad talks to me like i am one of his one of his drinking buddies. i am 13 and he talks to me about like money,his marriage and stuff like that. but i enjoy it though haha. well anyways, oh and i forgot to mention that my dad (hes not an achololic or anything) would go drinking like every other friday night. but he wouldnt come home drunk he would just go there to talk to people and stuff like that. well yeah he got 4 drunk driving tickets over the last 7 years and on his 4th they almost took away his lisence for a year and put him in jail for a couple months. but the charges were dropped because cause of other stuff and thats when their marriage started to crumble. oh and my dad has a reaaaaly good job. he gets paid 130,000 dollars a year and he is a vice president of this health insurance company thing. well yeah blah blah blah. so i get caught in the middle of evvvverything. because my whole family likes my mom and hates my dad except for me. so i always say my opionions which are usally my dad sides and i get yelled at by my mom and siblings because of that!! and its getting so ridiculous. so i think i am depressed cause i cry sooo hard every other day almost and i hide it from people. i am dying inside but know one knows. i want therapy or something but i dont want my family to know i am depressed.
and another reason i might be depressed is cause i am verrrrrry very very self consious of EVERYTHIHNG i do. cause i am a little overweight ya know and stuff like that so i get soo depressed about my physical features and stuff like that. and i dont like sleep for days and stuff like that i would if i didnt have school though. and i am very good at hiding it. i smile all the time when i really just want this whole thing to be over with and im crying on the inside. so i am wondering what i should do? i want to go to therapy but i dont want my family to know what is going on with me.