Posts Tagged Choice

so recently I graduated in August and have been feeling very obsessed about finding a job etc, because without structure I am very unproductive. I’ve been living at home since graduation which was very irritating because I have a big family and I like my space. Anyways, as the job search continued I couldn’t find anything in my city so I started looking out of state becasue it seemed very glorified and independent to move somewhere and sort of “establish a new identity”. Anyways, I applied for some psitions in Boston and decided to fly up and interview for a job. I was given a good offer and specualted about it for nearly a week because it was a big decision to relocate away from family, friends, and a boyfriend all for a job. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to get away from my life, or simply try something new to expand my horizons. A big part of me wanted to get away….actually a REALLY big part. I wanted to be away from my family because I was so sick of being home and arguing with my older brother(who has a mental illness and is home ALLLLLL day long). Anyways, so it seems pretty obvious that I’m trying to get away from a lot of situations that were making me quite uncomfortable and I was struggling to deal with them. Another part of me was saying I could simply move out of the house, find a temporary job until I found what I really wanted to do, and take the pre-requisite classes in state(less $$) for physical therapy school in about a year or so. A lot of things drove me to leave the state and move to Boston….so here I am now only about a week into it and the job is okay but I still feel so guilty for being here. I feel like I get bored at the job and want to leave after a few hours…so why the hell did I moveall the way up here for this? I know you can never escape your feelings and I knew that when I decided to come up here. I’m just scared to get too involved with anything…like I feel guilty for being here ebcause my bf really would rather me be in Atlanta and a part of me would too; but isnt this what independence is? Trying to take care of yourself without any crutches around. I just felt rushed to get out and prove myself to the world but maybe it wasn’t the best idea. My whole plan was to finish my pre-req’s next semester so I can apply for PT school and start school in about a year or so. But now that I’m up here, working at a PT clinic full time, than I won’t have time to take classes next semester plus it would be very expensive out of state. SO….as I ramble on here this is my main issue…should I try and stick it out and give this some time…not worrying so much about the future. Or should I be honest with my employer and go back home, find an appt, job, begin classes next semester and just be honest with myself. I am pretty much training at the job right now to work at another location they are opening in about a month, a clinic where i will be working alone with the therapist. So it feels like I need to make a decision now because I dont want to screw them over right before they open the clinic and than have no one to help out the therapist. Thanks for any insight!