hes lived with his grandparents, aunt and dad- his grandpa passed away 6 months ago and they were very close- he told him to loo after his grandma. His dad has what we think is schizophrenia and is not treated – he hears voices which causes him to yell loud at night in turn making my bf not get any sleep. He usually gets an hour or so and then works 11 hours a day at a physical therapy clinic.
His mom convinced him to get an apartment and yesterday we were moving his last things out of his room. He ended up crying because he said he felt like he was deserting his grandma and aunt. He feels like its a bad idea and i don’t know what to tell him because i don’t want him to be around his dad and i know he needs to sleep- its tearing me up seeing him so upset i don’t know what to tell him-what should i do
#1 by lost@hom on January 31, 2010 - 10:30 am
Just because he doesn’t live with her doesn’t change that he can look after her. It sounds like the new situation will be good for him, the better he is the better he can help her. Call everyday, dinner every other week, that kind of thing.
#2 by tehabwa on January 31, 2010 - 1:29 pm
Just comfort him, listen to him.
He’s being going through a LOT — and on no sleep, which is a very bad thing.
He can “look after” his grandma, while living in a much better situation.
He needs to take care of himself, which, we both hope he’ll realize soon.
But trying to talk him out of his feelings is counter-productive. Just listen to him, and accept that he’s sad, and with much good reason. Let him cry and talk it all out.
#3 by madisoni on January 31, 2010 - 3:18 pm
Discuss the situation with him and allow him to vent his feelings which are normal when making such a life change.
His mother is evidently an intelligent and loving parent to encourage her son to go out on his own. You should stress this when speaking to him about living his own life as the rest of his family have lived and are living their lives as they wish to.
#4 by Jeffrey S on January 31, 2010 - 8:08 pm
im not saying i know what im talking about, cause people are different. but if my girlfriend felt something i would want her to tell me, and especially if it was out of concern. i don’t know what else to say other than just be honest. if you tell him and he listens good, if he tells you and at least just understands where your coming from, that is more than alot of guys i know are willing to do.
#5 by sandi p on February 1, 2010 - 1:58 am
Tell him it’s time he starting taking care of himself and let other family members or nursing help care for his family. He has to work and he is going to end up having a break down himself if this continues.
#6 by Bill on February 1, 2010 - 8:52 am
Tell him to quit being such a pussy.